I HATE myself, not for who i am. but for what i want! My family is mormon, lds no sex drugs drinking anything like that. THat is what i want. Ever seen sex and the city.... yeah that is my ideal life. except my parents want me to get married at 23 see the world with my husband and produce a million little babies and go to relief society every sunday. why do i want the shit that i cant have? the stuff that my family hates me for and my parents look at me with disgust with. You hear truth and you want to follow truth until you hear something that isnt true. then what. you change what you follow. i cant find truth anymore. everybody lies, parents, friends, colleagues, teachers everybody. my parents want what is best for them, how do you know what is best for me? I HATE having to pick from what i want and what i should want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!